AS CHRIST LOVED HIS CHURCH

The past few months have been strange. Over and over I have had conversations with people who are struggling in their marriages; people who are hurting because their spouses are wanting out of their relationships; and yet, they are both Christians; people who have gone through divorce or are split up but are struggling because they want to somehow please God. All of them knew, or know, divorce cannot be God’s will, but couldn’t really figure out how to cope with it. It seems quite clear the devil is at work!

I spoke on unity in the body of Christ to a group of people when I was in Liberia last time, and an interesting question was raised. A church elder stood and asked me this question, “What should a man do if he is in a marriage where his wife no longer loves him or cares to meet his needs.”

I have to tell you that the question stumped me for a moment. I am not a marriage counselor, nor an expert in any field besides naiveté. But it came immediately clear to me that there was an easy biblical principle to apply to this question.

The scriptures are clear in this…a man is to love his wife as Christ loved ______...I know most of us could finish it. A man must love his wife as Christ loved HIS CHURCH. So I explained this to the man, told him he needed to just stick in there, he sat down, and I moved on. And since that time I have thought little about it.

But today while driving in the car this came into my mind. And as I sat there thinking about it, and feeling sorry for this man or any person that has to endure situations like this, I realized something that brought tears to my eyes. I thankfully was in a parking lot and was able to pull over and just think about it a bit.

So think about this…what is the reality of the relationship Christ has with the church? Is it any different than the situation this man suggested to me? Christ, who is an example of pure, undefiled, and unselfish love – committed to a bride (the church) who seldom shows him the love He so desires from them. As I sat thinking about it I realized that I spend many days uncommitted to our relationship; many days going against His wishes; many days breaking my vows of “until death do us part”. I spend my time with others that shouldn’t matter as much and allow my heart to be fixed on other things but Him. I don’t care as much about His feelings as I do about mine and spend little time trying to find out how to make Him happy.

And as I sat there I realized the pain He must feel, day after day, when all He desires from me is the one thing I struggle to give him…love. He is so in love with me yet most days I take it for granted, abuse it, and am selfish with it. I was disgusted with myself. Don’t get me wrong. I love God – but do I love him passionately, intimately, and with my whole heart?

At the end of it, I realized God was trying to give me something that I never understood before…a small glimpse into the magnitude of love He has for me and His desire for me to love Him back more passionately, intimately and unselfishly. I think this is something we all need to get a better handle on.